I hope that these days get closer and closer together so that I am completely motivated to change something.
Yet again I'm sitting watching TV and something as simple as a commercial for those phones that you can hold up to a song and it will find out who sings it, and the title (all that good stuff)comes on. I'm sitting there thinking about how crazy technology has gotten these days, and that reminds me of the AMOUNT of money that is spent on these gadgets. Not only the gadgets, but clothes...property...anything that makes you look successful and like you have a lot of money.
I'm reminded everyday walking through downtown Chicago of how I don't fit in. I have what like $20 boots with my "blacks" from work, a white ski jacket and a huge scarf wrapped around my head. I look to the left and the right and see women in these high fashion boots, skinny jeans, or short skirts with leggings, probably $200-$700 jackets, and a beautiful scarf that I can't imagine keeping me warm.
I'm completely human too might I add...I watch shows like "What Not To Wear" and I say to my roommate I wish I could have $5000 to spend on clothes and someone to tell me what's flattering on my figure. But the next moment I'm thinking about how everyone that comes out of that show looks the same! And how awful is it that they spent that much money in only 3 days on CLOTHES when there are people who could provide for their families for MONTHS on that?
I'm even a little disturbed at the amount of money I make and that sometimes I wish I could make more, even though I EASILY live the life I want to on what I make now! And believe me...I don't make what most people would say as A LOT of money!
I know that this is part of the reason I want my Theatre Company to be something different. Is this where this emotional energy needs to go? Do I need to stop putting energy into other things and just start writing my own works based on these issues? Is that where I start? Making contacts is HUGE I know...but sometimes I feel like I'm waisting my time and that I could be doing something so much more useful. Bottom line is that I want my art to fuel change in others. I want to help people who don't have as much as I do. But I'll be the first to say that there are a lot of times where I just want to buy clothes, and look pretty, and have the cute boyfriend, and travel.
Oh what a ramble...but...maybe this is what I need. I need to WRITE...I need to find people like me to connect with. I want to reach out to people and do Theatre that is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from anything that's out there...
One step at a time...that's all it takes. I'm prepared for the long road ahead of me.
Yet again I'm sitting watching TV and something as simple as a commercial for those phones that you can hold up to a song and it will find out who sings it, and the title (all that good stuff)comes on. I'm sitting there thinking about how crazy technology has gotten these days, and that reminds me of the AMOUNT of money that is spent on these gadgets. Not only the gadgets, but clothes...property...anything that makes you look successful and like you have a lot of money.
I'm reminded everyday walking through downtown Chicago of how I don't fit in. I have what like $20 boots with my "blacks" from work, a white ski jacket and a huge scarf wrapped around my head. I look to the left and the right and see women in these high fashion boots, skinny jeans, or short skirts with leggings, probably $200-$700 jackets, and a beautiful scarf that I can't imagine keeping me warm.
I'm completely human too might I add...I watch shows like "What Not To Wear" and I say to my roommate I wish I could have $5000 to spend on clothes and someone to tell me what's flattering on my figure. But the next moment I'm thinking about how everyone that comes out of that show looks the same! And how awful is it that they spent that much money in only 3 days on CLOTHES when there are people who could provide for their families for MONTHS on that?
I'm even a little disturbed at the amount of money I make and that sometimes I wish I could make more, even though I EASILY live the life I want to on what I make now! And believe me...I don't make what most people would say as A LOT of money!
I know that this is part of the reason I want my Theatre Company to be something different. Is this where this emotional energy needs to go? Do I need to stop putting energy into other things and just start writing my own works based on these issues? Is that where I start? Making contacts is HUGE I know...but sometimes I feel like I'm waisting my time and that I could be doing something so much more useful. Bottom line is that I want my art to fuel change in others. I want to help people who don't have as much as I do. But I'll be the first to say that there are a lot of times where I just want to buy clothes, and look pretty, and have the cute boyfriend, and travel.
Oh what a ramble...but...maybe this is what I need. I need to WRITE...I need to find people like me to connect with. I want to reach out to people and do Theatre that is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from anything that's out there...
One step at a time...that's all it takes. I'm prepared for the long road ahead of me.
